Sam

What was the last Star Trek episode you watched?

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With my cold and earache, this is remarkably descriptive of how I feel today as well...:giggle:

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Though I don’t look nearly as handsome when I’m sick.  

I’m more like this, with facial hair and glasses...

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LSTIW:

Does “AfterTrek” count as newly watched Star Trek?  :P

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4 hours ago, Sehlat Vie said:

LSTIW:

Does “AfterTrek” count as newly watched Star Trek?  :P

Eh...barely. But I guess it is in the realm!

Not knocking anyone who enjoys it, but I don't like any of these post shows...they just feel too shallow and PR-ish.  It's all "did you see the neat phaser!!! pew pew yay!"  I didn't like the "Talking Bad" when it launched this whole weird subgenre either.  I've tried After Trek, but it just feels too goofy with it's audience and jovial host.  I used to mildly enjoy Doctor Who Confidential back in the day, but I think thats because while it felt very "yay us! we made a show!" it at least showed me some behind the scenes stuff, and since I rather like film production (and went to school for it), I enjoyed the movie magic angle.  And the interviews didn't feel so shallow. I can't make it through 5 minutes of After Trek, and I've tried a couple times. 

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I just recently watched "The Last Outpost" from TNG, Season 1, on Saturday.

 

God almighty, was this episode was BAAAAAAAAD in so many ways (like, you really had time for a Chinese finger-puzzle subplot?), but I needed to do some research on the Tkon Empire. Was the seven minutes of Tkon stuff worth the 38 minutes of everything else? Um... barely.

 

The cheese is so strong with TNG S1.

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11 minutes ago, trekfan said:

I just recently watched "The Last Outpost" from TNG, Season 1, on Saturday.

 

God almighty, was this episode was BAAAAAAAAD in so many ways (like, you really had time for a Chinese finger-puzzle subplot?), but I needed to do some research on the Tkon Empire. Was the seven minutes of Tkon stuff worth the 38 minutes of everything else? Um... barely.

 

The cheese is so strong with TNG S1.

It's not great, but I wouldn't call it "bad." The setup is good, as is the resolution. The biggest problem for me is the spastic Ferengi. Only DS9 ever figured them out.

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1 minute ago, prometheus59650 said:

It's not great, but I wouldn't call it "bad." The setup is good, as is the resolution. The biggest problem for me is the spastic Ferengi. Only DS9 ever figured them out.

It ... I really had a hard time watching it. The pacing was weird (we're stuck in a power field that's sucking all our energy, soon we'll be dead ... quick to the briefing room ... but first let's get the kids out of there and, also, let's have Data get stuck in a Chinese finger puzzle), then there was the Ferengi -- which was a completely botched introduction to a species as there ever was one (which DS9, thankfully, got right), and before all that we have the engineering stuff -- where, for some reason, engineering loses communication with the bridge and Picard sends LaForge down there, then -- a minute later -- sends Riker after LaForge!

 

The episode's writing was poor and the execution was equally poor, in my view. I would have judged it less harshly prior to watching it, but seeing it again did definitely remind me of why I generally avoid all TNG S1 episodes. Did I enjoy it? Sure did -- LaForge going "WOOOO WEEEE!" at the idea of throttling back, then going really fast to break the grip of the field is cringeworthy goodness. But the episode is a missed opportunity in a lot of ways.

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Oh, it definitely needed another couple of passes by the writing staff.

As an aside, isn't there the ONE door to the briefing room? So the kids would have to toddle onto and across the bridge to get there.

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36 minutes ago, prometheus59650 said:

Oh, it definitely needed another couple of passes by the writing staff.

As an aside, isn't there the ONE door to the briefing room? So the kids would have to toddle onto and across the bridge to get there.

There's two technically -- one forward of Picard's chair (which is used, like, ten times tops) that leads from a mystery Deck 1 corridor to the briefing room, and then the bridge (most commonly used) door as I recall.

That mystery corridor was rarely used, much like Voyager's.

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23 minutes ago, trekfan said:

There's two technically -- one forward of Picard's chair (

Must be why I don't remember it. :)

Still, seems like it'd be super difficult to get in there without an adult putting a stop to you.

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2 hours ago, prometheus59650 said:

Must be why I don't remember it. :)

Still, seems like it'd be super difficult to get in there without an adult putting a stop to you.

You'd think, but 24th century security is especially bad pre-Dominion War -- the ENT-D could never be properly patrolled with how huge it is.

 

Families+large Starships=children in unauthorized areas. Honestly surprised engineering didn't have a "0 Days since Last Child Accident" sign hanging somewhere.

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13 minutes ago, trekfan said:

You'd think, but 24th century security is especially bad pre-Dominion War -- the ENT-D could never be properly patrolled with how huge it is.

 

Families+large Starships=children in unauthorized areas. Honestly surprised engineering didn't have a "0 Days since Last Child Accident" sign hanging somewhere.

Some curious child: What does this button do?

 

(Series finale)

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8 minutes ago, prometheus59650 said:

Some curious child: What does this button do?

 

(Series finale)

WWRD -- What Would Riker Do?

 

tumblr_mwss89qCXU1ra9hnyo1_500.jpg

 

Oh, right. ;)

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8 minutes ago, trekfan said:

WWRD -- What Would Riker Do?

 

tumblr_mwss89qCXU1ra9hnyo1_500.jpg

 

Oh, right. ;)

What would he do?

Looks like another quarter step backwards, he's gonna butt-dial some photon torpedoes and somebody's gonna get shot. :)

Edited by prometheus59650

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11 minutes ago, prometheus59650 said:

What would he do?

Looks like another quarter step backwards, he's gonna butt-dial some photon torpedoes and somebody's gonna get shot. :)

We will never know how many wars were averted thanks to Data programming the ENT-D's computer to disregard all possible buttdials from Riker's rear.

You know there was a low-key staff meeting about it -- Data, Troi, Crusher, Picard, Geordi, and Worf.

****

"Is it a medical issue?" Picard asked, uncomfortable with even the thought of his first officer having a medical issue there.

Crusher gave a shake of her head. "Physically, he checks out."

Troi subdued a small smile. "Captain, I've known Will for a long time and it's just the way he is." She did her best to repress the various images of his rear, but only mildly succeeded.

Worf's  brow was furrowed in annoyance. "It's a security issue that must stop," he protested. "Commander Riker's seating habits must be changed."

Geordi got up and went to the briefing room screen, bringing up an image from the bridge sensors of Riker's latest sitting incident. "Captain, as you can see, he's only a few centimeters away from launching a volley of photon torpedoes and authorizing a warp core ejection."

Picard looked to Data. "Commander, can we program the Enterprise computers to disregard that kind of input?"

Data processed the question in an instant. "Yes, sir." He offered a look to Doctor Crusher. "I would, however, need an exact measurement of the width of Commander Riker's buttox and a range of minimum and maximum pressure he can apply with it."

Crusher smiled wide and shot a look at Troi. "I think I could get that information ... care to assist, Counselor?"

"Oh, it would my pleasure," Troi said with a laugh.

Data stared at them both before looking back at Picard. "Sir?"

"Make it so," the captain said briskly and stood. He pulled down on his uniform and looked at everyone in the room. "This stays between us, clear?"

Everyone nodded and Picard dismissed them. Before leaving, he pulled Data to the side and told him to delete the computer's records of this briefing and not to log it.

To this day, the official Starfleet record reads that everyone in that room was in Data's quarters at that time, attending a poetry reading.

****

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3 minutes ago, trekfan said:

We will never know how many wars were averted thanks to Data programming the ENT-D's computer to disregard all possible buttdials from Riker's rear.

You know there was a low-key staff meeting about it -- Data, Troi, Crusher, Picard, Geordi, and Worf.

****

"Is it a medical issue?" Picard asked, uncomfortable with even the thought of his first officer having a medical issue there.

Crusher gave a shake of her head. "Physically, he checks out."

Troi subdued a small smile. "Captain, I've known Will for a long time and it's just the way he is." She did her best to repress the various images of his rear, but only mildly succeeded.

Worf's  brow was furrowed in annoyance. "It's a security issue that must stop," he protested. "Commander Riker's seating habits must be changed."

Geordi got up and went to the briefing room screen, bringing up an image from the bridge sensors of Riker's latest sitting incident. "Captain, as you can see, he's only a few centimeters away from launching a volley of photon torpedoes and authorizing a warp core ejection."

Picard looked to Data. "Commander, can we program the Enterprise computers to disregard that kind of input?"

Data processed the question in an instant. "Yes, sir." He offered a look to Doctor Crusher. "I would, however, need an exact measurement of the width of Commander Riker's buttox and a range of minimum and maximum pressure he can apply with it."

Crusher smiled wide and shot a look at Troi. "I think I could get that information ... care to assist, Counselor?"

"Oh, it would my pleasure," Troi said with a laugh.

Data stared at them both before looking back at Picard. "Sir?"

"Make it so," the captain said briskly and stood. He pulled down on his uniform and looked at everyone in the room. "This stays between us, clear?"

Everyone nodded and Picard dismissed them. Before leaving, he pulled Data to the side and told him to delete the computer's records of this briefing and not to log it.

To this day, the official Starfleet record reads that everyone in that room was in Data's quarters at that time, attending a poetry reading.

****

LOL. Spot on.

And probably completely accurate. 

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3 hours ago, prometheus59650 said:

What would he do?

Looks like another quarter step backwards, he's gonna butt-dial some photon torpedoes and somebody's gonna get shot. :)

Cowbutt--er, cowboy diplomacy. :giggle:

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4 minutes ago, Sehlat Vie said:

Cowbutt--er, cowboy diplomacy. :giggle:

No doubt you have to account to someone in San Francisco for every torpedo discharged.

Where the hell is THAT on the forms? :)

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5 minutes ago, prometheus59650 said:

No doubt you have to account to someone in San Francisco for every torpedo discharged.

Where the hell is THAT on the forms? :)

I can see someone in Starfleet logistics, “Eight torpedoes missing??  Dammit, who butt-fired again??”  :laugh:

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5 minutes ago, prometheus59650 said:

No doubt you have to account to someone in San Francisco for every torpedo discharged.

Where the hell is THAT on the forms? :)

STARFLEET OFFICER QUESTIONNAIRE #47

All Starfleet officers are required to answer the following to the best of their abilities. Answers to these questions will be anonymous and cannot be used to discharge, discipline, or disparage the officer in question as per the Starfleet Judge Advocate ruling in "Kirk vs. Federation Ethics Commission" in 2268.

 

Question 1: How many times do you estimate you have, knowingly or unknowingly, broken the Prime Directive?

Question 2: How many members of the opposite sex, of a different species, have you engaged in personal relations with? (Personal relations as defined by the handbook "Starfleet Rules of First Contact: Chapter 3 -- Hailing Frequencies Open.")

Question 3: How many times do you estimate you have, knowingly or unknowingly, discharged ship's weapons due to a misappropriation of body parts and/or console shortcuts?

Question 4: On a scale of 1 to 10, rank the effectiveness of your ship's red alert klaxon.

.....

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"The Doomsday Machine."

We're lucky that our crew is so clever. I mean, that was brilliant. Now, if only Federation starships had some sort of weapon they could have shot into it...some sort of missile type weapon that could have been shot into its maw that would have caused at least a 97 megaton explosion and ended the episode before it started.

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5 hours ago, prometheus59650 said:

"The Doomsday Machine."

We're lucky that our crew is so clever. I mean, that was brilliant. Now, if only Federation starships had some sort of weapon they could have shot into it...some sort of missile type weapon that could have been shot into its maw that would have caused at least a 97 megaton explosion and ended the episode before it started.

Even digesting a molten, radioactive planetary core would be the equivalent of swallowing a few thousand atomic bombs anyway.   It’s own appetite should’ve killed it, really...

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1 minute ago, Sehlat Vie said:

Even digesting a molten, radioactive planetary core would be the equivalent of swallowing a few thousand atomic bombs anyway.   It’s own appetite should’ve killed it, really...

Right.

It didn't seem like it was waiting for his hot food to cool down at all. :) 

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3 minutes ago, prometheus59650 said:

Right.

It didn't seem like it was waiting for his hot food to cool down at all. :) 

Eating an entire planet (radioactive core and all) so quickly would have the concussive force of a bomb (or bombs) anyway. 

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