Chris McKeown

"Tell Morn your problems"

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Eden   

Hi Morn, it's me again...

*orders another drink for Morn*

I feel depressive and violent these days. Yesterday I've agressed my beloved husband for no reason. I even wanted to destroy the project I'm working on (and I regret I didn't).

The reason ? I'm trapped in my stupid situation. You see, we're living in that theater complex. And I must smile to everyone, do what they want and participate to their miserable existence just to keep my family in this place. Because we have anywhere else to go. I'm not myself and it's getting more and more irritating.

WHY I can't have my own home, work legally and have a normal free existence that everyone else have ? Just because I'm born in the wrong country !

I can't stay anymore whithout doing something about this. There's no future for me and my family without freedom.

Now I'm near my goal after two years of a hard work and it's time for action !

Wish me good luck, Morn.

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HerbieZ   

Morn i'm stuck in the same crappy dead-end job and have absolutely no enthusiasm to do anything. I hate my life at the moment, i also lack any semblance of self-confidence whatsoever. I don't know what i want to do or what i want to do as a career. The only thing I'd like to do is travel to at least give me inspiration but i can't even afford to do that.

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Eden   

Hi Morn,

How are your thirteen sisters and brothers ?

And yeah, it's me again. :dozingoff:

Something is wrong in my life. I'm afraid of my own shadow, I have violent desires like shatter everything breakable in my house (even if I'll never do it), I don't have a strenght to do anything and my work is piling up for weeks. I hate being like this.

I'm tired. Very tired. It's like I gonna fall asleep every moment.

Do you think I need a vacation ? Maybe two or three days of doing-nothing at home, with my family ?

They say the good ideas come at morning.

Let's see if they're right...

Good night, Morn !

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Ael   

Been a while since I was last here, Morn ol buddy. I need a big glass of ale and someone quiet to listen. Good, I knew you were the man...

What to say, what to say...

First off, I dont like being taunted and pissed off on purpose.

I am tired of the mother I have to live with due to the money situation here. Every day I am made to feel like some kind of worthless bitch because of something or another. I am tired of having to spend almost all the time locked in my room to avoid her, and nothing I do helps anything.

I am tempted to simply pack up in the middle of the night and start walking. No, I have nowhere to go and I likely wouldnt even tell my husband at this stage. Hes probably better off without me anyways.

I am tired of no one understanding me and I am tired of people calling me obsessed with something because I write a few fics or whatever.

Tired of people saying they like me or care, when I think its only some kind of act. If I am on a messanger its like they see meon and pop off. if I go invisable, they log on and stay...I find that most odd...then again, no one talks to me anyways so *shrugs*

I am so tired anymore these days, and I personally amalmost to the point I dont care if I just dont wake up anymore...and Im only 28...sad isnt it? No, I am not suicidal, but I am tired of this life where nothingI do makes a difference or makes anything better.

My heart hurts as well as I sit and wait for a return letter from someone that I know is never going to come. I need this person in my life more then I can say, and it is never going to happen. I just almost have no hope and things just hurt.

There is tons more I could say, but I wont. I am sure I will be back later.

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Eden   

Hi, Morn.

I find my life boring, no film or book is even close to be interesting this times...

I'm finding myself to be distracted while I'm working. I sudenly find my work pointless.

People are irritating, they don't seem to notice anything around them or make any logical conclusion.

I could quit everything in my life and go travel with my family, I really don't care.

But if my family is the only thing in this world I care about, isn't it a bit of a problem ? :confused:

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Nyssa23   

Hey Morn, how's it going? *buys another round*

My father-in-law is being an ass. You've been married before, so I imagine you know what that's like. So he isn't coming to my (adult) bat mitzvah next week because his new wife apparently doesn't approve of my being Jewish, and he doesn't seem to have the stones to come anyway. What am I supposed to think? He knew I was Jewish when I married his son and didn't say anything then, so it's kind of late to object now.

I've been all mad at my husband about it and it's not even his fault. :oops:

Hey, thanks for listening, pal.

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Ael   

Hey Morn...whomever...

I think I am becoming clinically depressed again..I dont know. It could be a hormonal imbalance right now due to medication...meh

I KNOW I have a few people mad at me and I dont know what the heck for. Im being avoided, and 1 person I talked to every day for hours, now isnt talking to me at all. Its like, TELL ME whats wrong, dont shun me and make things worse...

Im tired of being insulted and then having poeple say but it was fuuuuuuuuunny lolol you're tooo sensitive...yeah bloody right. Sensitve was me years ago, when even the wrong way looking at me would have me crying all day from distress. I cant even cry anymore; period. People said toughen up...so I did, Went from crying to mouthy, rude and just all out mean. People said tone it down...I found a happy medium, but the second I feel insulted even if others agree with me, there is always one or two who will call BS. I didnt know I wasnt allowed feelings. I didnt know that I had to fit into everyones little agendy of what they think I SHOULD be.

Tired of a certain person following me around just to take pot shots at me. I KNOW I am being egged on to see how much I can take and I am getting full on tired of it.

I feel like I wasted my last month and a bit with that last story I wrote. Went from many reading and commenting, down to 1. No reason, people just stopped. That was after giving me ideas and saying how much they liked it...etc..Even wrote a special part about 4 people wanted and now NO ONE wants it. WTF?! I mean seriously...

Im tired of my mother treating me like I do everything wrong and NOTHING is ever good enough.

Im tired of my medical issues that we cant afford some of the care for...

IM tired of not being able to get work...for the last 6 years...

Im tired of not being able to get pregnant and the docs not being able to find something wrong when there is an obvous problem

Im just....tired.

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SLWalker   
Im just....tired.

Ael,

You are a creative girl who has had to be very resourceful in order to survive. When you look in the mirror, keep reminding yourself of that -- you have every right to be proud that you've made it this far and keep on going.

Writing isn't easy. It's blood on a keyboard, and there is no author in the world who hasn't gone through the silence. In the end, though, write the tale because you want to tell it, regardless of whether it's being read or not. Write for the joy of it, write for the fun of it, write because you love it and you'll find a sort of zen that'll help bigtime.

Mostly, though, try not to give over to that little voice that keeps talking you down. You have the right to be proud -- tell the voice to shut the f*** up, and keep your head high.

-Steff

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Ael   

^ Thanks, but just so you know, not really supposed to respond to each other in this thread.

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SLWalker   
^ Thanks, but just so you know, not really supposed to respond to each other in this thread.

::shrugs:: Maybe not, but offering support is something that should be done when it can be done.

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ARGH! I hate technology!!! I just logged into one of my e-mail accounts only to find it's been closed, without warning and ALL my old e-mails deleted!!!! :ohmy:

I wouldn't be so bothered if they weren't all the beginnings of a wonderful friendship I have, all those exchanges I'll never be able to read again. :( All those special memories. Why didn't I save them elsewhere?!! This is technology for you, if it'd been letters, aside from my house burning down, I would have them forever!

So sad about it, I need lots of booze Morn. :cry:

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Ael   

Morn...I think I ate something funny last night at dinner...I feel really ill =(

And my mother is being her usual, bitchy self. Its getting to be way way to much to stand, it really is. I wont delve into it here....but damn, woman! Mothers are supposed tolove and care for you, not abuse and neglect. Me being 28, all she can do now is veryball abuse...but still..

Sick or not, I need an ale...

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Morn, IT IS TOO FLIPPING HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannae take any more!!!!!!!!

Hose me down with chilled champagne........ sweet :cool:

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Eden   

Hello Morn,

How are you, dear friend ?

Do you know someone who is renting an appartement ? Because it's been one year now that we're searching for a good place to make our home.

It's simply impossible to find an appartement in Paris. The system is too... stupid. Owners breaks the law as they want, and no one is doing anything about it. They're asking for personal information, three bills in advance, pointless guarantees...

So we're living in a trailer. Liliah is growing fast and she needs her own room. I hate to see my husband hurt himself on every corner. And I hate to moove everything in the house every time I need to open a closet.

It's simply a madness of a senile burocratic system.

And between hundred people in the line, waiting fo their home, no way they choose me.

But impossible things are made to be done... :evil:

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Ael   

Morn...

Family really sucks sometimes....or all the time; wichever.

I am tired of pretending to be so happy and bouncy everywhere, because Im not. I feel like complete crap and NOTHING makes anything better. Things start to maybe go ok and then right back to where we were, if not worse.

Im tired of people (my husband for the moment) not knowing when to keep his mouth closed. Thanks for making my depression worse, hon, you're a doll! *sarcasm*

I could probably sit here and talk for hours, but I wont.

I shall go escape inside my writings now, they always tend to help. Have a better day then me, Morn. :confused:

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Morn, I hate my computer...my Windows crashed, and I had to reinstall it, which means, it's no longer recognizing my second hard drive as formatted, which means it's going to be a VERY long night trying to recover almost 300GB of data :(

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Morn, are people in the twenty fourth century still racist?

I just got back from a restaurant, and the lady was so rude to myself and my family even though we were perfectly polite and treated her like any other person. We're hispanic, the people next to us were white and she was very nice to them. I hate being treated like that just because of my nationality.

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Ael   

Lets see, not only do I get to go in for oral surgery in a week, but I wont be healed by my birthday.

Oh yes, was also informed that there likely wont be any money for it either. So, crappy birthday spent in pain AND no present.

Now, back to faking happy, since that is how a few people always think I ought to be.

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Hey Morn, I am really tired every day, I have to walk all the way to the other side of campus every class, and I have a gym class which I have to walk laps around a track everyday in this loathsome weather, and today the school's A/C wasn't working, my brain isn't doing too well either, I'm repeating an algebra class where we only learn irrelevant junk we will never use, and I am really tired of these ignorant redneck kids and pompous school officials, thanks for your time Morn, its been far too long

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Ael   

Ow, Morn...

I guess those 2 teeth know they are getting pulled soon...they are choosing to make my life hell in their final days. I couldnt even eat last night without bad difficulty. Only 4 more days to wait...

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